đ§”I would like to recount the story of the weirdest thing I saw at Web Summit last week. It wasn't the unseasonal bout of rain. Or the Chinese robots. Not even the bacchanalia-esque grape display in the speakers' lounge. It was, I'm afraid to say, the Visa exhibitor booth.
As I strolled past, I was absolutely bewildered by what I saw. A long line of people was queuing to gain entry into the booth for reasons and outcomes unknown. (Truly! We asked. No one had a clue.) From afar, the setup looked like some sort of ânon-experienceâ experience.
Perhaps, I thought, Visa was making a profound and performative statement about the information asymmetry at the heart of every crypto success story? But no. That wasnât it. Something else â something much weirder â was going on.
Intrigued, I rounded the corner to discover a Cold War-esque checkpoint. There, a bespectacled dead ringer for Mephistopheles in Visa blue was inviting âexperiencersâ to click on a QR code and input personal data.
Okay, exciting. Who doesnât love the thrill of being pressured to sign on a dotted line without reading the terms and conditions first? Naturally, everyone complied.
So far, so good. Very on brand. Very Web. Very Finance. The full depth of the Faustian "processing experience" was now upon them. First port of call? A walk through a royal blue archway, complete with a couple of office chairs. Hmm. Curious.
Second: More queuing. (Naturally)
Third: A stride over to a Wheel of Fortune-looking installation, albeit without the spinning functionality or, presumably, the fortune.
Fourth: some drama around a larger-than-life light socket, where someone may or may not have been attempting to photograph peopleâs souls:
Finally, the output: Publicly visible "proof of processing" kompromat for absolutely anyone to pick up and take home.
"Was it fun?" I asked people coming out. "Yeah, I guess so."
"But did you have to give up a bit of your soul?"
"No idea. Don't think so."
And this, I guess, is why Visa will never be dethroned from its top spot in the international transaction processing game.
End of story.
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